Mail man? Enemy.
UPS guy? Enemy.
Trash guys? Definitely an enemy.
Neighbor mowing their lawn? Enemy.
Toilet flushing? Enemy.
Neighbor’s dogs? Always an enemy. But especially right now.
I’m moving out to the country where I can’t hear a single thing, ever.
Please nap, my child.
If you need me, I’ll be drinking chocolate milk and having a good cry.